Training Your Emotions Around Money
Money is brimming with emotional energy.
We are not only dealing with stories from our past and present but we are also planning our money future with those fickle emotions we have.
As you have probably heard before when you are able to control your emotions you become powerful indeed.
Money does not have any power over you that you don’t give it. It’s a piece a paper that we as a society have given value to.
You have all the power in you to change your experiences and emotions with money.
I am currently in life coaching and two of the most empowering things I am learning is that my future is in my thoughts and I can change my past by changing the story I tell.
When I use that power my emotions about money change as well. This is always a work in progress.
Today we will take a simple trip through 5 emotions you may have with money and learn how to tame them.
Feel like you don’t have enough for what you need?
When you feel like you don’t have enough you overwork and exhaust yourself or become really frugal and stop enjoying yourself.
Both of these are rooted in scarcity and fear.
We are not meant to live in fear, it takes way too much energy and leaves us exhausted and depressed. Instead, tell yourself the truth about what is enough.
Here’s how to tame it: Calculate the cost of all your basic needs, don’t add anything that is not essential, just your bills, rent, food, and transportation. Do not include your debt payments or fun money.
Do you still have money left over?
Even a dollar or 50 cents counts!
Lookie there! You have enough money to meet your basic needs.
Let that fear go, it’s not true anymore!
Now to feel even better about your money and get a sense of control over it, make a plan for it, and have money goals to bring about abundance.
Goals like getting out of your money mess, mastering your budget, becoming debt-free, or financially independent.
If you want to set goals with me- let’s do a financial kickstart or reset! 🙂
Green With Envy?
Have you been eyeing your friend’s new car or all the trips your old classmates have been posting on Instagram?
Chick, do not covet is in the 10 commandments for a reason! We all want what other people have. They look so happy and fulfilled with it, right? And because they look so fulfilled you want a piece of that pie too!
Totally understandable, but you got your own story to write and your own life to live.
Here is how you tame it: List out the blessings you do have, then think of how amazing God is for bringing all that to you without much effort on your part.
Try to write that list every day until you tame the envy.
Another thing: Remove Facebook and Instagram or mute people who make you green. Completely remove them from your life until you do the massive action that is needed: being grateful, being financially literate, and following through with your money plans.
You can un-mute or get back on at any time, but don’t feel you have to keep taking in the garbage or dealing with the crappy feelings.
Ashamed Of Your Current Finances?
I have totally been there! Riddled with guilt and shame about the choices I have made and even continue to make.
One thing that helps me is to think: I was choosing what was best for me at that time.
Don’t you make choices to help yourself not to harm yourself? So you honestly picked what you thought was best. Don’t beat yourself up over that, just learn from it.
Some of the shame might also come from how you look at your worth when it comes to your money. This can really be impactful if you have a scarcity mindset and have allowed frugality to run your worth as I did before.
Here’s the truth: Money does not determine your worth! Do you hear me? You are born fully worthy of love, care, support, and good things.
Your only job is to show love to others and allow others to give it to you, no matter all the crap that has happened to you or will happen to you.
Money may have to do with your net worth, but has nothing to do with your actual worth. Once that is abundantly clear to you, you will be able to thrive even in the crappy times as you rise up out of it.
Embarrassed Of How Much You Make?
When you get that new job and a new paycheck while your friends are still living your old life it can be really awkward because you don’t want to seem above them.
This is your time to shine and to help others.
God has blessed you with more and that means more power to bless others.
Don’t feel ashamed of what you have been given. With greatness comes responsibility. Take it on.
Do what needs to be done. Elevate your surroundings and the surroundings of others.:)
When you need to be validated by others you have not learned how to validate yourself with self-love and self-esteem.
I needed the validation of others growing up, especially my parents! It wasn’t until I learned that my parents can’t be pleased with my every decision and have their own lives to live did I change up my approach.
Now I make decisions for me and what’s best for me, even if they have their side comments.
Needing validation from others can be in how you present yourself online and especially how you spend your money. This can be detrimental to your budget if you always need the latest technology, fashion, or trends.
Having the latest and greatest will have you poor and insecure if you can’t actually afford it! If you like nice things, save up for it so that you actually are buying it not putting it on credit.
Also, keep the end in mind instead of the present. This allows you to let go of the validation you feel Starbucks or the latest iPhone will give you. At the end of the day, 10 minutes of Starbucks has nothing on Financial Independence
Fun Tip: Challenge yourself to save every time you want to splurge or indulge. Then at the end of the year invest in their stock and really change the game! 🙂
My Last Two Cents:
Our Moneymotions trip has come to an end. It’s good to go through this every so often so you can reset your thoughts and actions with money.
Do it along with your biannual money audit to make sure your spending and saving are aligned with your goals and priorities not your emotions.
If you really want to go deeper with your money emotions sign up for a money shift roadmap session to learn how to shift your money mindset so you can stop sabotaging your money goals and priorities.